How The Auditions Went ...

...I haven't a clue. I didn't go.

No, I wasn't scared away, oddly.

Just as I wanted, I spent the last two days hanging out with superheroes. I actually worked the booth where autographs were being signed and I took the pictures for the fans. I was by his side when the Sci Fi Channel brought Feedback down to meet up with Stan Lee and the contestants. I heard every word of encouragement that the superheroes gave to them. I met a few other contestants who came to seek out Feedback and get some feedback.

As I witnessed and partook in all this, I realized that I had become the thing which I was hoping for. I became an insider. I'm an actual part of the team and this relationship will never go away. I'm in.

And mind you, I'm not a sidekick. I'm a hero who hasn't worn his costume yet. :-)

So it seems wrong now to wedge myself further into the TV show, because if I were to be chosen, that would be a spot that someone else didn't get. And that someone could be the next Matthew Atherton. And yeah, I could be the next Matthew Atherton, but I feel I already am that. Let someone else get the spotlight, I'm satisfied getting the benefit.

All that being said, today I will wear my costume. The auditions are over in New York, but a fellow Tech Support member will be coming with her own camera for the sake of the fanship, and I promised I would. And again, Matt (and Chris and Nell) are wearing their costumes, and I had already told myself (and you guys) that it would be my stand of solidarity to costume-up with him. And as it turned out, I'm not their handler, I'm not their groupie, I'm not their sidekick and most importantly, I'm not their superior. I am them. I was Matthew Atherton about 8 years before MATTHEW was Matthew.

Now let's see what they think. None of them seemed to have any idea that I even have a costume. I don't think they know that I had auditioning in my head. I was busy working with them for as long as they needed me, even though I was encouraged to go and enjoy the convention for myself if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I was getting all the glow I needed from watching fans meet their heroes, and in particular, watching Feedback love people.

Are you ready for sacrilege? Okay, I won't spell it out, because a long time ago I was told that God is a jealous God, and if I love anything more than Him, He'll take it away from me. I no longer support that belief, but you've seen how dire my thoughts can grow, so just in case, I won't say it. But I will say this; I'd probably have turned out being John the Beloved. (I think the Lord is not threatened by this analogy. In fact, I think the Lord set this all up for me. Because I feel more inclined to return to regular worship now that I have in years.)

Stay tuned for further developments. Today is going to be a short day. It closes down shop at 4PM. Then wherever they're going, I'm going.

So that's all right then.