This Creative Life

Welcome to the creative work of Alan White, head writer and producer of "FEEDBACK; A HERO'S CALLING," now at Broken Sea. The "Feedback" in question is Matthew Atherton, My Hero. He and other heroes of mine have links found down the left side of these pages. Enjoy!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

How The Auditions Went ...

...I haven't a clue. I didn't go.

No, I wasn't scared away, oddly.

Just as I wanted, I spent the last two days hanging out with superheroes. I actually worked the booth where autographs were being signed and I took the pictures for the fans. I was by his side when the Sci Fi Channel brought Feedback down to meet up with Stan Lee and the contestants. I heard every word of encouragement that the superheroes gave to them. I met a few other contestants who came to seek out Feedback and get some feedback.

As I witnessed and partook in all this, I realized that I had become the thing which I was hoping for. I became an insider. I'm an actual part of the team and this relationship will never go away. I'm in.

And mind you, I'm not a sidekick. I'm a hero who hasn't worn his costume yet. :-)

So it seems wrong now to wedge myself further into the TV show, because if I were to be chosen, that would be a spot that someone else didn't get. And that someone could be the next Matthew Atherton. And yeah, I could be the next Matthew Atherton, but I feel I already am that. Let someone else get the spotlight, I'm satisfied getting the benefit.

All that being said, today I will wear my costume. The auditions are over in New York, but a fellow Tech Support member will be coming with her own camera for the sake of the fanship, and I promised I would. And again, Matt (and Chris and Nell) are wearing their costumes, and I had already told myself (and you guys) that it would be my stand of solidarity to costume-up with him. And as it turned out, I'm not their handler, I'm not their groupie, I'm not their sidekick and most importantly, I'm not their superior. I am them. I was Matthew Atherton about 8 years before MATTHEW was Matthew.

Now let's see what they think. None of them seemed to have any idea that I even have a costume. I don't think they know that I had auditioning in my head. I was busy working with them for as long as they needed me, even though I was encouraged to go and enjoy the convention for myself if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I was getting all the glow I needed from watching fans meet their heroes, and in particular, watching Feedback love people.

Are you ready for sacrilege? Okay, I won't spell it out, because a long time ago I was told that God is a jealous God, and if I love anything more than Him, He'll take it away from me. I no longer support that belief, but you've seen how dire my thoughts can grow, so just in case, I won't say it. But I will say this; I'd probably have turned out being John the Beloved. (I think the Lord is not threatened by this analogy. In fact, I think the Lord set this all up for me. Because I feel more inclined to return to regular worship now that I have in years.)

Stay tuned for further developments. Today is going to be a short day. It closes down shop at 4PM. Then wherever they're going, I'm going.

So that's all right then.


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