Another Meme

This latest incarnation alighted last on Ari's blog, whom I don't know personally, but who here in the blogsphere cares about that? Feel free to copy the line and say you did in the Comments so I can follow and see what YOU said.

*List ten things you want to say to people you know but you never will, for whatever reason. Don't say who they are. Use each person only once.*

1. You need to act more professional. How can you run a department and continually talk about your divorce on the company's dime to, like, EVERYONE with a set of eardrums? Grow UP.

2. Why are you my friend? Do we agree on anything? At all? I think I'm drawn to you because you're sexy in a feral, raw way. But what the hell is up with YOU? You just like fighting with me? And the damndest thing is, I'm drawn to you enough to let it go on.

3. Please, don't be crazy. Not after all the energy and faith I put in you. Please. It'd crush me. Oh, and please like me! Talk to me. Respond to me. Choose me. (Yes, the nod goes to Grey's Anatomy)

4. Look, I know you're dying and I know your life really sucks because of your condition, but you are a total bitch. You need to give everybody a break. If these are your last days on Earth, why don't you spend them surrounded by people who care about you, people you've drawn to yourself because of a personality and courage, rather than dying alone and lonely with only crazy-ass people like me standing by to watch you go? (Actually, I might say this to this person after all. Therapuetically.)

5. I was actually drawn to you because I had a crush, but now? It's hard to look at you. More than half the time I feel compassion for your situation and how out-of-control you are, but the rest of the time I wish I could just crush your skull with a baseball bat and put you out of your misery and mine.

6. What good is that body if inside it you're just a miserable pr!ck who never leaves this gym?

7. Why are you so mean to your husband? Why do you take opportunities in public forums to insult him and denigrate him? How long do you think your marriage is suppose to last even though he constantly is apologizing to you? Your fights must peel the paint off the walls when there's no audience. For God's sake, stop it. Stop it for yourself, stop it for him, stop it for poor schmucks like me who are terrified of the whole idea of marriage in the first place, and would rather die alone and lonely than end up with a shrew like you who would wind up breaking our hearts and taking half of everything we own AND our children.

8. I love your eyes. So expressive.

9. You keep resurfacing and telling me you wish we were better friends. You try to guilt me into responding to you. But you are the one who keeps going off with every new fad, then smugly telling me how much more fun you're having with them than with me. Not to mention you have more skeletons in your closet than Victoria's got Secrets. Between the two of us, you KNOW that's why you resist me, because I will call you on your ish. You want to be my friend? Then CUT. THE. BULLSH!T. Confide in me the way you confided in the girl you drove away. Yeah, the one who is NOT your wife. But you probably won't do that because you don't want to get down MY pants. You doth protest too much. And all that has made me not like you, the way you suspect I don't. Get therapy because you're bugging the crap out of me.

10. I wish you and I would move in together and help each other through the rest of this life. If only I could trust you. We'd make it, you and I.