This Creative Life

Welcome to the creative work of Alan White, head writer and producer of "FEEDBACK; A HERO'S CALLING," now at Broken Sea. The "Feedback" in question is Matthew Atherton, My Hero. He and other heroes of mine have links found down the left side of these pages. Enjoy!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Let Me Clear My Throat...

Hehe. I used that title as a precursor to the 'preaching' I'm about to do here, but it seems to be my subconscious' way of saying "Put a link to here." Okay, but come right back kids!

Anyway, I feel good. I don't know exactly why. My mystery 3 lbs. are back again. My Benefactor's son is spending time over here again, and bringing home the skraggliest, most suburban killer klan I've ever seen into this house while he lay in his drug coma upstairs. They run the air conditioner all night, forcing me to keep my windows open or else I'm up at 4 AM with teeth chattering. My open windows lure the cats from upstairs down into my room because they want to escape, but they hate my cat, who sleeps faithfully by my side all night--so at anytime, unless I close my door, I could be awakened by a catfight the magnitude of which you wouldn't wish on a dog.

But I feel good. And lo, the power of The Hero.

Sunday night, I called up FanBoy Radio and went totally FanBoi in defense of the television show with which I've been smitten. I did so because I was the one that provided the information that soured them on the show in the first place. So I felt I had to correct it, or at least give equal time for free thought. The scorn factor was too strong, though, and this guy ridiculed me mercilessly. Now, this guy is married, successful, and happy. And the host of FanBoy Radio is doing what he loves, is married and I'm also going to assume happy (since his wife is the producer of the show and works with him in most things Geek). So although I got my point across, I hung up feeling like a sad, fat, living-in-someone's-basement Loserrrrrr. Because why, oh why was I defending some stranger with whom I only had a mere dalliance with, who is portraying an imaginary character on a possibly staged faux-reality television show?

I called The Grim Jester later on that night, fully expecting him to verbally beat me down for something which I hadn't realized yet, which is something he does at the weirdest times.

But he didn't.

He defended the Joy of Being Geek. He said as long as I'm not hurting anybody and it's not robbing me of my necessities (food, clothing, shelter), I have nothing of which to be ashamed. He said that if baseball fanatics can devote money and time to a sport they will never actively influence (who gets traded, who plays in what innings, etc), then I can defend a 'reality-TV superhero'.

And really, what was I doing?

I was defending what I believed to be a nice sincere guy, doing something I would have done in a heartbeat. I was defending my new faith in the way a man represented himself. I was defending the whole ideal of heroism, and what it would be like if there were such things anymore, as opposed to pursuit of material wealth just for avarice sake--just to be the kid with the most toys in the schoolyard. I was defending what I believed to be a man's dream.

A dream I share.

And this is what I did as a result of the shared dream. I arranged for FanBoy Radio to interview Feedback.

And just now, in fetching these links, I found this. Matthew did that himself, says my SiteMeter.

So, yeh, I feel good. I love what I love. I do what I do. I am what I am.

No more apologizing.

"Game ON."


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