This Creative Life

Welcome to the creative work of Alan White, head writer and producer of "FEEDBACK; A HERO'S CALLING," now at Broken Sea. The "Feedback" in question is Matthew Atherton, My Hero. He and other heroes of mine have links found down the left side of these pages. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Embodiment Of Cute

I defy you not to think "AwwWWww!"

Hooray For Dragon Page!

Dragon Page! The last episode interviews Patrick Rothfuss, who has written the latest fantasy novel bombshell "The Name Of The Wind". An excellent opportunity to hear what the heck all is up with getting a novel published, although, unfortunately, Mr. Rothfuss didn't go into enough of that part of his writing experience.

I've picked up the book in my blow-bys through Barnes & Nobles, but it hasn't gripped me as yet. There's something in the attitude of the protagonist and the set up of all his names that put me off and I haven't give it a fair shake yet. Notable, however, are the following factors -- it is his debut novel and it's written in first-person singular. So he's already filled the niche that my manuscript is seeking out. Which reminds me that my favorite married couple editors haven't gotten back to me yet on my submission. I hope Mr. Rothfuss' bombshell motivates the publishers to want one of their own NYTimes sensation, and decides that that new sensation is me!

Differences between Patrick and I are that he wrote his novel in seven years, and I wrote mine in a Month. And when he finished his, he already had enough for a trilogy, but for me, the novel can stand alone or I can continue my protagonist's story. When Patrick stopped writing and examined how to publish it, he had 300,000 words, and then he went on to finish his story. My novel ekes just over 65,000 words.

So there are some differences, Mr and Mrs Neilsen Hayden! I'm not necessarily a clone of the latest sensation ... unless, you know, that's what you want. :-)

Hopefully, the ultimate determinant (new word?) is if I have the ability to write a good story. The market has its demands and expectations, and agents will be seeking out qualifications on that front to sell my work, but in my own mind what I want is to have produced good writing. I want this more than I want to have written a bestseller.

Even so, I'm going to have to plunge into "The Name of..." and see what is considered as good these days. I hope I'll agree! :-)

Testing ...

Something seems wonky on my laptop. I can't access the blog, even though I can access the Blogger dashboard. I can see the address in the address bar, but the error message says that it can't go to "/". So let me try to get to the page another way ....

Okay it works now. I went to the link after sending this post and re-saved it in my homepage.

And stuf ...

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Now Let's Get Slightly Less Adult


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

When I Think Of Home ...

Tue Apr 24, 7:00 PM ET

"WASHINGTON - For the first time astronomers have discovered a planet outside our solar system that is potentially habitable, with Earth-like temperatures, a find researchers described Tuesday as a big step in the search for "life in the universe."

The planet is just the right size, might have water in liquid form, and in galactic terms is relatively nearby at 120 trillion miles away. But the star it closely orbits, known as a "red dwarf," is much smaller, dimmer and cooler than our sun..."

The heartbreaker is that it would take the entire span of human evolution to get one-tenth the way there. That's my math, not any other source. Because at 120 TRILLION miles away, I don't even understand how they can really even see this thing, let alone speculate about it.

And yet. *siigghhhhh* I wanna go.

Ah well. Once I posted that I didn't understand a certain group of individuals and yet I wanted to be one of them, and that worked out fine! So maybe 'ol "581c" isn't so far away after all ...

Monday, April 23, 2007

"Do You Pop Out At Parties? Are You Unpoopular...?"

Daleks In New York

The name of the episode is actually "Daleks In Manhattan" and I've learned that everything one wishes for shouldn't always be given.

So I wanted the Doctor to have a black companion. He got her. I wanted to see how they'd treat a story with taking the black companion into America's past. They did it. And I am not happy.

I did greatly enjoy the acting, though. I don't know how many American actors they got for the roles, but if any of the native New Yorkers were British actors (with the exception of a few construction workers who's accents I could detect below the NY brogue) I say bravo!! Particularly the lead blonde flapper. Good stuff if she was British!

But here's the thing. The Doctor and Martha land in 1930's Manhattan. On Liberty Island. Martha's dressed in jeans and a very nice, tight leather jacket.

Well, not shown is how they get off the island and go to Manhattan, but they do, and they end up in Central Park where they find a shantytown called "Hooverville" because it's The Depression and people (men exclusively, it seemed) are living like hobos (Cool! Doctor Who taught me something new!) And they come upon a black guy and a white guy fighting. The white guy stole the black guy's bread. And this middle-aged black guy gets between them, breaks up the fight, forces the white guy to confess, give up the stolen loaf, then breaks it and gives a half to both the men because along with the confession, the white guy admits that he's starving. Turns out the mid-aged black guy is named "Solomon" and he's the defacto leader of Hooverville.


Now, normally, I'd go to a webplace and rant about this--one tailored to Doctor Who fanship. Preferably one with British contributors. and I did find one, called the Geek Syndicate. and it's a brilliant place because the two podcasters are both black! But they have white visitors to their forums who, when I started my "Yay she's black!!" rah-rah's on their messageboard, I was promptly told from the Mighty White Guy that it wasn't what he watched Doctor Who for and he hoped they didn't make the show a platform for racial equality. I bent to his will because I was merely a visitor anyway, and he had a point. It was "Doctor Who", not "Like It Is".

But at this moment, I can't ignore it, and I will go to see if anyone there has already brought it up so I can chime in.

Because when is a black and white guy going to fight over bread in 1930's America and the black guy win??

Here is what I can extend to the show's writers and producers; they want to show us humanity's best sides in all aspects of world history. When the Doctor went to see Shakespeare with Martha, we saw some broken teeth and emptied nightslop, but ol Willie himself was, yo, no homo, but a cutie. Now we see an instance in the Depression Era when black and white were equal. "We're all starving" said Solomon as he explained to the Doctor his position there. (In which same speech he said "We're all the same, black and white," but I know for a fact that we weren't called "black" in the Thirties. Because in the Nineties, in Missouri, I ran into teenagers, let alone adults, who still thought I was "colored".

And that's the best I can do for them. Because when Martha ran into a young white guy from Tennessee (with an accent, no less) and he flirted with her, my suspension of disbelief exploded with a loud messy pop. Martha gets accepted by the showgirls in a Vaudeville theater, yes, but a young Tennessee white boy?! Oh, I think not. I don't care how fine she is or how hungry he is. (Well, Alan, wait--he was already under Solomon's leadership, and he did willingly go up north to New York--maybe he was one of the more open-minded southern white boys. There were some ...)

Yeah, I guess you're right, conscience. And truth of the matter is, I want to like Doctor Who. I always want to. I've nothing against them for trying to tell a story with a black companion on board. I'm mad grateful in fact, yo! I'm just saying, there's a whole subplot that they are sorely missing. For instance, what if, six shows into the series, Martha, who has familiarized herself with some TARDIS controls (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space machine for the uninitiated) looks at the panel and says,

"Oi, Doctor? There are a few destinations the TARDIS wanted to go and you changed them? 1912, 1930, 1876 --? Why didn't we go there, I'd love to have seen --"

"No, Martha. There are some periods in Earth's history that I'm not ready to take you to. Not just yet."

I dunno. Maybe I'm just looking for trouble, lol.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Two More Non-Sequitirs

This weekend I saw "300" with My Friend The Doctor. I had heard it was a movie loaded with testosterone and was just non-stop battles. 15 minutes into the movie I was like, "Shut up, people, and start the fighting!"

I was also more than a little fascinated with seeing how many ripped dudes they were going to cram into the movie. I'm now convinced that what I saw were CGI abs. No big deal. Gerard Butler has not replaced Hugh Jackman as my all-time favorite cinematic action-hero mancrush. Probably because of all that ridiculous posturing and chest-beating King Leonides did. Wore me out. I wanted to run him through with a spear after a while. It was fun, however, listening to ol' Gerard fight his Scottish accent. (Scottish is my #1 fave. Irish is #2, Australian #3, English (mid-isle, Dame Judi Dench-style) #4.)

I suppose from all the polarization which took place on political filters, I came away on the side of seeing the "Bush's America" parallel. Except Bush would never take an actual weapon up in his hands and actually stand with the troops in battle. Well, the government isn't structured to let the President do that, but somehow I don't see Dubya as being the kind of guy who would even be willing. He's welcome to refute that for me though, if he so chose. Be my guest. And put some guns in your daughters hands too, and send them out there as happily as you did My Friend The Doctor's brother. So I got tired of the Spartans' principles bellowed at me. I understood the necessity to do the actual fighting but after too long I was like, "Just shut up and fight already".

And when I came out of the movie, I was indeed ready to punch someone in the head. Just anyone. The waitress at Friday's was fair game after seeing that thing.

rrRRRAAAGGGGHHH--! I have testosterone, hear me roar!!

Also in the cast was David Wenham. Forget not that I crush on Hugh, so I've seen "Van Helsing". I couldn't get David's role in "Van Helsing" out of my mind, so seeing him in "300" only made me think of him as a goofy monk with no clothes and CGI abs. Sorry Dave. Cash that check, buddy, and don't worry about my opinion...

As for the second non-seq ... I forgot it ...

"Lizard Licks ... His Eyeball ..."

This is the second verse of Burt Bacharach's Geico commercial jingle as he sings/interprets the story for Jane Q. Public's accident story.

You know you're a girl inside when THAT song brings a tear your eye.

Either that or I'm susceptible to certain chords, as I suspect many people are. This is why there is such a thing as a "sad song". I couldn't name the chord that Burt plays in the last line;

"I hope I never get hit ... in the reeaarrrrr ... again ..."

but it certainly made me hope the same thing for the dear woman.

In other news, I'm at it again. Wil Wheaton tells the story, and remember, at FanBoyRadio I am New Mutant.

Over the weekend, a never-blogged-about friend of mine said I could make a living at this. But that would make me the Jeremy Piven character in "Entourage", and even though I've never seen the show, I get the impression that his isn't the character-type I'd like to be. (So kudos to Mr. Piven's ability to tell a story with just his face if I'm right).

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

60-Second Decisions

People! If you came here because of then go here first.

Then paste the address in your web browser address bar and go there. Although I don't recommend it, as you saw if you went where I suggested you first go.

Good luck with your debts. It's a struggle, I know. The last two years, no, three, of my blog is about my struggles. But don't worry, really. What are they going to do to us, kill us and eat us? They'll get their money when they get it. Take care of yourselves first. If you're not happy, how are you going to make more money and pay them off?

I wish you all well.

I Want A New Drug

One that wont make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel
Like I feel when I'm with you

Wait a minute. Does that mean that Huey was doing OLD drugs?

Anyhow, I need to get busy. Busier. My idle mind is SO messing with me. My muse is stirring and I'm envisioning a new story which I'll tell shortly. I may try to genericize it so that I can possibly submit it somewhere. But for now, it'll be called "The Jimmy Olsen Syndrome"

It asks the premise, "How do you get along when your best friend is off saving the world most of the time, and has a girlfriend/wife?" That sentence should tell the story by itself, so I won't elaborate. Instead, I'll dive head first into the reality checks so I can change my mood;

1) Matt Atherton is not your best friend. He's a good friend, but not the best one. Distance and obligations, and the fact that he already HAS a best friend, keep him from being that.

2) My Friend The Doctor is my Best Friend. I do him a disservice when I get melancholic for missing Matt. MFTD is always there, and I'm significant in his life. We have a relationship that spans more than twenty years.

3) I have an addictive personality. Even though I've broken the fourth wall and made a television personality acknowledge my presence on planet Earth, my obsessive self won't let me be content with that. I will, however, not allow my obsessive self to ruin it and make it a bad experience for Matt. I'll shut up and I'll wait for when he has time. Hence my need to be busier.

4) This will pass. I've obsessed over heroes before. It has felt as intense as this currently does. I've obsessed over My First Pastor, My Mentor, Grim Jester, and My Other Hero. Those passed. (Or maybe more accurately, they were replaced.)

I need to find something to replace My Hero. Isn't that sad to say? Maybe that's why Tech Support loses once prominent members? Because they aren't comfortable with all the brainspace they've given over to a person who is essentially just another human being?

MFTD, in the midst of the New York Comic Con, wanted better for me. It made him sad to know that I have this hero-need in my life. I attributed it to his own disillusionment with the world, and maybe with his own father. But I saw his point too. I have the hero-need because of some damage done. Because of a significantly missing father and because of my underdeveloped sense of self. MFTD wants to see me get to a place where I'm not chasing heroes. At the time, I told him that I'm happy chasing heroes. It's an endorphin rush which makes my otherwise bleak life happy for a while. In the absence of all else, I had no desire to abandon it.

And I still don't. Underneath the costume, Matt's a human being who deserves some loyalty and whatever friendship I can extend to him. In order for me to do that, I need to take care of myself too. I need to have my head right. The obsession part has to stop. This longing after a hero has to stop. That isn't friendship. That's "Fatal Attraction" MFTD said that too. He's a good guy, My Friend The Doctor.

I don't want a new drug. I want off ALL drugs.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007


Remember when I noticed that I got five hits because of the www.60-sec-decision.blah? Yeah. That was 100 hits ago. These people are blowing up my spot, hunting that link down!


Monday, April 02, 2007

A Nice Way To Start The Week

The Doctor's new companion is named Martha Jones and she is the first full-time companion of color since the series first aired on November 22, 1963 (Yes on the day JFK was assassinated). Last season, The Doctor had a companion (white, blonde) who's boyfriend Mickey was black, and he traveled with the Doctor for a few episodes, but wasn't the main. In the novels, The doctor had a black cop from the future who was a full-time companion, and also an East Asian gal, but the novels aren't counted as television canon.

Now there's Martha. When I watched the season opener last night -- you know, after I took a quick flight to Canada, erm, I mean England -- I marveled at a few things;

1) The mocha beauty that is Freema Agyeman, and the actress who played her sister and the other who played her mother.

2) The acting talent among the whole ensemble. Martha is a joy to watch, underneath her beauty. I believed every word she said. Again, I have to bow to the craft known as "acting". To so completely become someone else and emote the accurate responses to stimuli which is only fictional. Amazing. Particularly, in the beginning of the episode, Martha is running a four-way conversation with her family members on her cellphone. I totally believed she was speaking on that phone to a sister, brother, mother, and father that she loved. And in doing so, her personality sparkled. You could tell that she was the peacemaker of her family, and that she loved the position because she loved all of them--she even loved her father's girlfriend, who was obviously her own age and a blonde bubblehead (yes, right, I said blonde).

3) Her father's blonde, white girlfriend. No, I wasn't struck by the actress, but by the fact that this new series seems not to have a single care for racial differences. The Doctor's first companion had a black boyfriend who was a constant presence for two seasons. Then after the two seasons, in the Christmas special after the first companion leaves, an interim one-shot companion is a white woman marrying a black guy. Now in the new series, we have a black companion who the Doctor (in ten incarnations has always been a white guy) plants a big kiss on, and she's subtly ready to have a relationship with him. And her brother has a white wife (blurry in the background of his short scene; he and his girl have a baby together). And Martha's father, the darkest colored actor to date on th series, has a white, blonde girlfriend.

Now, I know this is a science fiction programme (English spelt!), but come on. A fact about Russell T Davies is that he is gay. He's had The Doctor kiss a dude in the first season. He also produced "Queer As Folk", that Showtime series about gay people. So it's no mystery to me that Russell is giving the Whovian characters a world in which he himself would like to be living, one where there's no discrimination (alien incursions, crashing spaceships, animate plastic killing machines, yes--but no racial discrim).

But I can't buy it. If you're going to bring sci fi elements to the world I live on, thus giving me a reason to identify with the companion characters of the Doctor (for such they are designed), then make it the REAL world. Not every single black person is in a relationship with a white person. And for those who are, it is not so easy. But if I'm wrong, then I'm moving to England!

4) The Doctor's bare feet. See! I TOLD you white guys love their feet!! Here comes the Spring. I wish I had a dollar for every toe I've already seen white males sporting this year.

So there's the scoop. New Doctor Who.

And what's more--I was informed that I have been licensed in the state of New York since the end of January. Finally. So the plans that I laid 3 years ago have come to pass. But nothing like I wanted them to.

So what shall I do with my NY license? Well, back when I first wanted it, I was going to try to get hired in a counseling center in NYC. I think I will still try that. Only this time, I'll do it part time, and I won't be depending on the work to survive. I'll use the extra money to pay off my car and my friends.

And that's not a bad plan.

And as I look at the old posts from the old blog, I notice that when my plans failed, and I came up with new objectives, the new objectives were met! Do you know how encouraging that is? I now fully believe that if I plan something, and those plans don't work out--I have the ability to survive. I can make new plans and carry them out!

I am, in fact, NOT a loser. I'm a survivor. I don't even care how old I am. I'm a fighter and I'm a survivor.

AND I'm a friend of Matt Atherton's. And the new Doctor Who Companion is black! So THAT'S all right then!