This Creative Life

Welcome to the creative work of Alan White, head writer and producer of "FEEDBACK; A HERO'S CALLING," now at Broken Sea. The "Feedback" in question is Matthew Atherton, My Hero. He and other heroes of mine have links found down the left side of these pages. Enjoy!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Could You Hear It From Where You Are?

In Tech Support, a new member joined. She beat us all out with our Feedback-worship because she wrote the actual first piece of fan fiction that Matt ever read (according to his e-mail to her), and she interviewed him for her school newspaper. I seriously liked that story of hers and so my fascination began. She's a good writer.

Recently, she joined another gathering of us fans where she had the ability to have her picture put next to her posts. And I lost my mind. She's a black girl!

So I went to digging deeply, feeling my heart coming loose in its moorings. What was I going to do? This girl wrote Feedback fan fiction. She joined a Feedback fan club. She spoke to Matt before any of us did. She is a comicbook geek. She's a writer. Do you see where this is going?

First, let's Hiro back a few days. The webmaster of the other place started a major, highly vocal flirtation/cyber"love" relationship with a fellow fan that had begun to make my teeth ache. I had gone to the fan community to get away from reality and there they were, starting to crowd out my interest with all their sillyness. I controlled myself because I figured, okay, this is humanity--people are going to flirt and DO stuff. They are a pair of extroverts and maybe a little bipolar, just like me, so why should I hate?

So just when I started to begin the healing ... I discovered this new black writer girl.

But wait.

It gets better.

I dug a little deeper and I then discovered one last detail.
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wait for it
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The new Tech Support member is 16 years old.

I wonder if you heard this heart of mine crack from wherever you're reading this.

I transformed from a hopeful romantic about to learn my lesson about cyberlove into a disgusting old pervert who needs to GET A FREAKING LIFE in a split second. I could be this new member's grandfather. If I were Hugh Hefner or that decrepit old bastard who married Anna Nicole Smith I could dare think about it--BUT ONLY IN ANOTHER TWENTY YEARS.

GYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG--!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OutSource... can this be the refuge away from the insanity for a couple of days?

Because the lady in red just stuck her foot in her mouth up to about the knee over on the K! board.

-Archive

7:07 PM  
Blogger Alan said...

I wish I could provide that, but I'm a wreck and this is the only place I have to do self-therapy. Although I'm feeling a little better after reading the K! and Y! sites.

I didn't see the problem over at K!--was it removed possibly? Was it in Mnen--however you spell it's--thread?

9:21 PM  
Blogger Alan said...

Okay, so I fixed it up. By all means, Arch, keep it on the low. I don't want the young lady to know that I almost got swept up.

What a horrible reality check. I knew I was older than Matt, but I'm beginning to think I'm older than all of you. Evry last one of you.

So what the hell am I doing?

I love you guys, PLUS, I think I have to get some kind of perspective.

In other words, I don't really know what I'm doing at the moment.

Please indulge me while I figure it out...

9:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are enjoying a very... unique fandom that you had a hand in crafting from the beginning. So what if your age is a bit higher than ours? You show Wisdom in your posts that I have come to admire. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

As for TS's new member, I won't say a word, after all I keep ALL the secrets.

-Archive

10:51 PM  
Blogger Geovanie said...

Don't sweat it man. I mean, I'm not in the predicament myself, but I like a woman who's older them me by about four years, maybe five - not that much of a difference, but I'm stuck in one of those preteen moments where you think your inadequate.

Know what you have to do?
Take a step back
Take a deep breath
and just say "fuck it"
Let what will happen happen.
But make sure it's not pedefelia at the same time. Because breaking the law to make it happen is... wrong.
But I'm rooting for you, heavens knows the world needs more happy people.

1:37 AM  
Blogger Alan said...

Thanks Geovanie. But to clarify. She's 16. I am 42. I will go to jail fo' sho'.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Geovanie said...

No one faults you for it. Afterall, you did not know until later, and even then you managed to refrain from doing anything illegal. Good job. :)

5:33 PM  

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